If you realize that you are having issues with depression, and it has been a problem off and on for a while, it’s good that you are talking about it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and definitely something that you don’t have to fight on your own. Try going to counseling and talk to your doctor about medication. It took me a long time to face my own issues with mental illness, and I suffered unnecessarily for so long, because I was afraid to admit to myself 1) that I had a problem at all and 2) that I needed to take medication. I was scared that the medication would affect my creativity, but actually it helps me, as I don’t check out for months at a time because I’m too depressed to do anything. So, I’m more consistent and able to do more things.
I hope that things get better for you soon!